Replacing Soggy Paper Liberal Straws

Reuseable Trump straws in durable plastic never stop keeping you hydrated.  Now available for $15 a pack; proceeds go to a worthy cause: Trump re-election campaign.

“Now you can finally be free from liberal paper straws that fall apart within minutes and ruin your drink,” stated Trump Campaign Manager Brad Parscale in a fundraising email. “Trump Straws are custom made with the Official Trump Logo, recyclable and reusable, and, as always, 100% MADE IN AMERICA.”

Liking him or not doesn’t matter:  He is the one stopping the climate lunatics from taking over the asylum.


  1. uwe.roland.gross · July 29, 2019

    Reblogged this on uwerolandgross.


  2. oiltranslator · July 29, 2019

    The disadvantage is that seabirds try to swallow those straws and die slow, painful deaths. The advantage is that coke sticks to the inside, so when Houston cops break in the door and shoot the dog, they can still find evidence of Demonic Possession by Plant Leaves that make it all OK, and jail them pagan latinos, hippies, pro-choice Jezebels or dark people. Dem politicians help this happen by trying to ban energy as superstitiously as the other looters seek to ban the “wrong kind” of plant leaves.


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