Antarctica, Earth’s southernmost continent, faces numerous threats from climate change, but many people don’t know very much about the isolated area. The Onion looks back at a history of exploration, scientific study, and human activity in Antarctica.
1490:
Lost European explorers perplexed by how cold India is.
1820:
Discovery of Antarctica sends world ice prices plummeting.
1911:
Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen beats British explorer Robert Falcon Scott in the race to the South Pole after Scott falters during the critical Ross Ice Shelf sprint stage.
1917:
Ernest Shackleton completes the first successful mission to get a boat stuck in Antarctic pack ice and be forced to live miserably on a floe for months.
1935:
Caroline Mikkelsen becomes the first person to experience sexism on Antarctica.
1959:
The Antarctic Treaty is signed in Washington, placing a moratorium on natural resource exploitation and preventing penguins from industrializing the continent and entering the 20th-century global economy.
1991:
The ratification of the Madrid Protocol declares Antarctica to be a “natural reserve, devoted to peace and science” for the remaining 50 years of its existence.
2005:
The film March Of The Penguins documents Antarctica’s disturbing descent into fascism.
2018:
OK, earthquakes under the Antarctic peninsula have caused it to droop a bit, but erectile dysfunction is common and treatable.
Story comes from the Onion (here) with my improving their final observation.
Very enjoyable piece.
Hilarious! Love it. But all levity aside, I don’t think we’ll be colonizing Antarctica anytime soon. It’s just too cold – even with 400ppm CO2 the place is a frozen wasteland.
If only our climate fanatic friends had any remaining sense of humor and see just how far they have wandered off.